Little Cat Diary

This Town Ain't Big Enough...

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Lying around in the front garden, I heard them next door mention that they might be getting a rescue cat. If it isn't a rescue cat it will be when I get my paws on it! Anyway, the fools don't seem to realise that these rescue centres don't actually have any cats, they just use pictures of cute kitties to get money from gullible humans. In any case, I have a cunning plan. I have a tape of loud traffic which I'll play constantly during their "interview". Let's see them get a cat then shall we?

Purrfect Behaviour

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Did you see that silly rubbish on the BBC about cats exploiting humans? All a load of rubbish and another excuse for a university lecturer to sit at home watching telly with her cat.
We have three simple steps to getting fed and you don't need to research it.
(1) Purr
(2) Meow pathetically
(3) Stick claw in face
Works every time!

Hot Hot Hot

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Don't think the lack of prawns, tuna and mussels hasn't gone unnoticed. I'm even expected to eat this dry cat food. I hope my little reminder of what real cat food looks like will restore supplies!

Whale Meat Again

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I'm going to put in a complaint about the BBC. I refer them to their charter agreement which says: '[The BBC] promotes awareness of different cultures and alternative viewpoints.' So when I responded to their Magazine item: 'Is it time to take tuna off the menu?' with a NO!, I fully expected them to print it. This is blatant anti-cat discrimination.

It's Good to Stalk

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

How dare anyone say that my stalking days are over? I may not be as prolific as I once was, but a cat's got to sleep. Anyway, my little present in the hallway should shut them up.

Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Cat Man!

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This is an appeal to cat food manufacturers. Please stop making claims about your food being tasty. It isn't. Why not save us cats the effort of leaving your so called "meaty chunks" by making cat food consisting solely of jelly or gravy?

Getting the Bird

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

What's going on here. My tuna buyer keeps talking to people on the phone about budgie meetings. Why am I not invited?

Chucking Fur-balls

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

One of the advantages of having long fur, is that when it gets really cold outside and the snow blankets the ground... keeping my coat in shape gives me something to do when I'm resting up above the hot water pipes.

Snow Joke

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

People are very funny. The first sign of winter and they start complaining and making stupid misshapen animals out of snow and trying to get me to pose in them. Idiots!

What's That Got to Do with the Price of Fish?

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I don't care about credit crunches (sounds too much like dry cat food), but I'm shocked to see the price of tuna go up by 14% in one week. For those of us on fixed incomes (i.e. zero) it could be the start of hard times, but if anyone thinks for one minute that I'm going to tighten my belt then they can think again. Do some overtime you lazy people!

Food for Thought

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I've just been for the annual visit to the local kitty stabber and he tells me that I'm in perfectly good health and my fur is in great condition and no mention of going on a diet at all. The last laugh goes to me, I've been stuffing my face for the last year! Vets advice? Ignore it.

Ich Essen die Katzenfutter

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT

We have some house guests from Germany and whilst they are very nice, they had the rather strange idea that I eat food out of tins. I had to eat it just to be polite, but what I'm not sure about is what kind of animal is a 'schmoosy'?

Mice to See You, To See You, Mice!

Tue, 13 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Now I may not be a kitty cat any more, but that is no reason for me to be put on 'senior' cat food. I'm not eating that processed rubbish. I'll show them. I've just brought some free range cat food into the house. Now if only I can get it out from behind the settee.

Single Cat Allowance

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I've been sent a letter from the council telling me that if I don't tell them who else is living in my house that they will take me to court. Well they can go and whistle for their tuna, he is my registered carer and I can prove it: one pathetic meow and he comes running!

Elections

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT

It seems that I'm not allowed to talk about politics on this site anymore. Apparently from now until election day is a Purr-dah period. I think it affects all cats running web sites during election campaigns.

Watching Ratatouille - with Real Rat!

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I've just been reading about Hamish the Hamster. He was lost in the Showcase Cinema for days. They should have given me a call. My free mouse finding service is second to none. Sorry folks I cannot promise to return your rodent in one piece.

Birthday Present

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Well, yesterday was my Birthday. I had a whole tub of prawns, some fresh mince, lots of kitty treats and a good brush. Nothing special. I think somebody forgot.

Dog and Bone

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I couldn't help overhearing a story about probably the dumbest owner in the world. She was apparently wandering around Pets at Home talking to someone on a mobile phone and getting very very angry. She was saying: "I'm very very annoyed. There are cat Advent calendars, but they don't have any Advent calendars for dogs. This is terrible." Well here's news for you lady, they don't have dog advent calendars because dogs can't count. They are stupid! What next? She'll get angry that they don't stock bicycles for fish?

Pining for the Fjords

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Sitting at home scouring the internet, as most cats do when their owners are out, I noticed an item about a Norwegian Forest Cat which make help you make up your mind on my little web site survey. Whilst Sgt. Podge's (see here) laziness in demanding a lift home is praiseworthy, why doesn't he cut out the walking and just settle for the sleep by a warm radiator? It's what I do.

Dirty Protest

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT

What on earth is going on in my back garden? The place is all covered with great big piles of steaming doo doo. Manure they keep calling it. Yet all I have to do is start to prepare a flower bed for use as a litter tray and I'm chased off. What hypocrisy! At least I do it free of charge.

Not Two In Tents

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT

It was a nice long bank holiday weekend and I had some visitors named Kirsty and Carl. They were very clean and well behaved and bought me lovely tuna and treats. I think I'll let them stay again.

Urgent Treatment

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Chickeny treats are back on sale at Pets at Home. What is going on there? Can't they recognise when an addict needs her fix on a regular basis. I'll have to start eating Dentabits if this carries on!

Pet Smarting

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 00:00:00 GMT

MEOW! Chickeny treats are off the menu again in Pets at Home. They're not welcome in my home.

Fat Cat Fury

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I don't think I've ever been so insulted in my life. According to to my "size zero" vet, I need to lose some weight. How dare she? I'm not fat, I'm thick furred. Anyway how exactly does she think she's going to stop me eating? One claw in the face usually does the trick when it comes to getting tasty treats... and if that fails I know where the meeces are.

Pet Smart

Thu, 31 May 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I don't want it to be said that I bear a grudge. After three months, chickeny treats are back on sale at Pets at Home so I'll call off the contract I took out on their shop budgerigars with Macavity Inc.

Angry Litter

Wed, 30 May 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I've written to the Reading Evening Post's Litter Page complaining about people complaining about cats using their back gardens as toilets. Where would you prefer? In your hats? Or Shoes? And until you humans stop soiling my litter tray (I call it the front garden) with your used crisp packets and burger wrappers, I think I'm entitled to find alternative facilities. Most of these people seem to live at "Name and Address Supplied" which I think is somewhere in Whitley.

Never Trust A Politician

Fri, 04 May 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Right up there with "Read My Lips, No New Taxes", "Things Can Only Get Better", I'd like to add: "Stay at inside and be a good kitty and I'll bring you some prawns." Well? I waited and waited. Finally the dirty stop out comes crawling in at midnight with no prawns. Well the last laugh was on him... I was sick all over his carpets. Today, I got prawns! I urge you voters to do the same next time a politician lies to you - it's the only language they understand!

Shed Loads of Mice

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Curses! I've been rumbled. My stockpile of meeses has been discovered in the back garden. What was the point of going to all that effort to catch and serve them up when no-one is going to eat them? What a waste.

Mouse Flavoured Cat Food

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I've been getting fed a lot of meals out of tins recently, so I thought I'd drop a few hints about real freshly prepared food using the best local ingredients and as I've been watching a lot of cookery programmes, I know that presentation is everything. Result? One Mouse a la Tilda with an ivy leaf garnish. Don't know why I bothered as it all ended in the bin.

Something Fishy

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Apparently I've won the Spanish Lottery. I can't remember entering but that's because I'm a cat and I'm far too busy to keep track of my financial investments. I've worked out that the prize will buy me 1,257,280 tins of Happy Shopper tuna or 349,010 tubes of chickeny treats. The fool in tech support tells me that it's spam but, although I do prefer sliced cooked ham, I'm willing to give spam a try.

Treatment

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I've found a new supplier and they sell chickeny treats in 220g bags which is 8 times the size of the old packets, but I'm not a happy kitty. The bag is now big enough to have instructions. Feeding Guide: Feed one or two pieces up to twice a day. Are they having a laugh? And Best Before: 01-06-2008? I'll tell you now, they'll be lucky to last the week.

Chalk and Cheese

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Did you watch that TV programme about underground tunnels in Field (Mouse) Road? What do these engineers know? Tunnels in the back garden are called mouse holes, not 'chalk mines'. If they are making tunnels that size under your back garden, I think you're going to struggle getting them meeces indoors through your cat flaps. Good Luck!

AFBO for Pets at Home

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 00:00:00 GMT

That's the second month running that those peddlars of kitty substance abuse have failed to come up with the goods, so I want them served with an Anti-Feline Behaviour Order. Where are my chickeny treats? I'm going to have to go cold turkey... although maybe cold fishy would be a better option at the moment.

Snow Joke

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT

What's all this cold white stuff? It doesn't look to me like you are tackling global warming seriously - it's freezing outside. Pull your paws out and turn the thermostat up.

Paws for Thought

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

I think it's that time of year again... the return of the kitty activity centre which for some reason they insist on calling a "Christmas tree". Must dash, I've got baubles to bat and tinsel to chew.

Christmas Pressie

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 00:00:00 GMT

I know it's difficult getting something for the cat who has everything: as much tuna as she can eat; a nice warm house centrally heated even when everyone else is out; a light on all night so I can find my way to the food bowl and a free paw to claw all the carpets and furniture whenever I want, but I was sitting under the coffee table minding my own business when this TV programme called Horizon came on. Not sure what rubbish they were talking about, but what caught my eye was the remote controlled rat - absolutely brilliant. So, if you're stuck for ideas...

Who's The Daddy?

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT

I want a recount. I think daddy-long-legs count just as much as moths, but whoever is doing this web site's impression of Bill Frindal wants a good claw in the face

Woof Woof

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT

You dogs think you're so hard, don't you? Well think again. Today I had a staring contest and the big woose's owner realised the humilition her mutt on a lease was getting that she's dragged him away. I win!!!

A Site for Sore Eyes

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT

I've been working my paws off on the new site. I hope you like it. I'm off for a well earned tin of tuna.

Taking Out The Trash

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Typical, you disappear for a week and everyone thinks they can muscle in on your territory. Well I showed them who was boss last night. Won't see that ginger cat around these parts for a while and as for that butter wouldn't melt in his paws black cat, he's lucky that I'm not allowed out the front door that often.

Free at last!

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

The ransom has been paid. I'm back home and there's a huge amount of chickeny treats for me. It must be guilt for not paying up sooner.

Litter Bug

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

I've been kept under lock and key with only a bucket of kitty litter to keep me company. I ask you… a litter tray. Where's the neighbours garden when you need it? Maybe if I pretend to have Stockholm Syndrome, my captor will release me. Failing that I think I might go for a dirty protest on the stairs.

Help - I've Been Catnapped.

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

There I was minding my own business, when all of a sudden I'm incarserated in the mobile kitty prison and whisked off to who knows where.

Squeak and Tell

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 00:00:00 GMT

I had my claws ready for the early morning alarm call, all ready to meow my head off and nothing came out. Not a squeak... well, okay a squeak. Next thing I know, I'm in the portable kitty prison and off to the vets. I am not going to tell you what he did with that thermometer, but people like that should be locked up.

Drought Warning

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 00:00:00 GMT

You don't have to tell me that there's a drought... a drought of meeces. Plenty of birdies strutting around like they own the place, but they've learned a trick from last year and have stayed well clear of the bush in my back garden. But things are on the up - first mouse of the year today!

Little Visitors

Sat, 27 May 2006 00:00:00 GMT

I appear to have some visitors, but I'm keeping out of their way until they've gone. Noisy little mini-human yowling away at all hours of the night. That's my job and I'm not standing for it. I'm off to sulk behind the shed.

Spring Has Sprung, The Grass is Ris…

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 00:00:00 GMT

...I wonder where dem birdies is? Don't worry, I've finally worked out why all the birdies have gone. I've not been able to catch any for quite some time now, but I was watching the news the other day and it suddenly dawned on me. Bird Flew!

Don't Fence Me In!

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 00:00:00 GMT

I seem to have an extension to my domain. At last they've realised that a dumb old fence isn't going to keep me out of the neighbours garden and have got rid of it. There's a fishpond (which used to contain two fish hee hee hee!); another shed (so I suspect more meeces) and some nice trees with the obligatory birdies. The only things spoiling it are those nasty squirrels who seem to be under the mistaken impression that they own the trees. We'll see who's boss around here you nut eating surrender monkeys!!!

Missing In Action

Mon, 02 May 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Where's it gone? I get locked in for the night and the next morning the pesky thing has flown the coop. Yeah, right!!! I'm pointing the paw at that black and white monster from down the street.

Foiled again!

Sun, 01 May 2005 00:00:00 GMT

The last chick fell out of its nest and those nasty people have constructed a fence around it. Ever wondered why the caged bird sings? Well, it's because there is a cat staring at it!

Building a Little Nest Egg

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Typical. They find one blackbird chick dead on the lawn and who do they blame? Muggins, that's who. No one saw me do it, you can't prove anything.

A Bird In The Bush

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Apologies to fans of my wildlife page, but pickings have been slim. However, things are looking up - there's a blackbird's nest in the back garden. It's only a matter of time!

Gruel and Infeline Treatment

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Those evil people are trying to starve me into submission. Okay, I have to admit that I was not eating my tuna because I knew those weaklings would soon buy me real prawns, but they've only gone and tried to feed me IAMS. What on earth is that muck? I had to go out and catch a mouse just to remind them what real kitty food looks like... and if my normal diet isn't restored soon, it'll be a mouse's head in the bed every morning until they give in!

Choose life…

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Choose a day sleeping in the back garden... I chose not to choose tinned cat food... I chose prawns. Now the nasty people at Morrisons have bought my favourite purveyor of kitty treats, or Safeway as you might know them and have stopped selling freeze dried prawns. Unless I find another fix soon, it's going to be cold turkey for me.

The Lawn Ranger

Wed, 19 May 2004 00:00:00 GMT

Hey, where's my kitty grass gone? How else do they expect me to cough up this fur ball I've been planning for the last few weeks? Don't they know I have to eat vegetable matter to make myself sick every now and then!

Basket Cases

Wed, 22 Oct 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Do you know what those idiots have bought me? A cat basket, I ask you! What's wrong with piles of freshly washed laundry? Nice and comfy and somewhere for me to leave my hairs, what could be better?

Mice to See You

Wed, 03 Sep 2003 00:00:00 GMT

Slim picking so far. Some may say it's because I've already killed all the competition, but I've got some good news for you wildlife fans... a new set of meeces has moved into the area!

Salad Days

Thu, 16 Jan 2003 00:00:00 GMT

It's a bit early in the year, but as they say the early cat got the bird. Damn thing hid in the salad crisper. Put me right off it did, what the hell is salad?

A Bit of Quiet Please

Thu, 26 Dec 2002 00:00:00 GMT

I'm not a happy kitty. There are too many people in this house, where am I meant to get a nice cat nap? At least they've set up a home entertainment centre for me. Strange though, they keep on calling it a "Christmas Tree"

The Rat in the Hat

Fri, 30 Aug 2002 00:00:00 GMT

My rat capture didn't seem to go down well. Still it freaked out some girlies out the front when they wanted to stroke the cute kitty... he he he!

Prawn to Lose

Sun, 18 Aug 2002 00:00:00 GMT

I guess they've gone and left me. Four days now without fresh food, just these mechanical contraptions which pop up at odd times. I've worked out some brilliant revenge though. Obviously feeling guilty, they left me with a big bucket of prawns. If I don't eat them, they're going to stink big time when they get back!

Fly Fishing Techniques

Sun, 28 Jul 2002 00:00:00 GMT

I've picked up a new hobby... fly fishing. I've got a purrfect technique now. First pick a good spot... the window sill is good. Then wait patiently until a fly comes along. Pounce with your net, I usually use a net curtain. If you're lucky, it's a tasty treat for free! It seems to disgust my owners. Don't know why, they should try some one day

Name That Tuna

Thu, 25 Jul 2002 00:00:00 GMT

I've confused the hell out of them now. Leaving the tuna and eating the cat food!!! But just let them stop putting the tuna in my bowl and there'll be trouble!

Insider Mouse Rules

Mon, 10 Jun 2002 00:00:00 GMT

Hooray, the first confirmed kill of the year! I think I've learned the secret of avoiding a rescue... don't wake the owners up until it's dead!

Buzz Off!

Sun, 02 Jun 2002 00:00:00 GMT

It looks like I've hit the jackpot... I've found a bumblebee nest in the back garden, so whenever I get a bit bored waiting for those meeces to come out from behind the shed, I can have a little R&R chasing them around the garden.

Feeling hot Hot Hot!

Thu, 30 May 2002 00:00:00 GMT

Can one of you humans turn that big hot light in the sky off? Some of us have fur you know.

Evil Bathists

Fri, 17 May 2002 00:00:00 GMT

It's now official. My owners are now the most evil people in the world. Their war crime... giving me a bath. I want these people executed for their crimes against felinity. All I did was use the carpets as toilet paper. I've been giving them the silent treatment until they repent and get me a big bucket of mussels.

Dangermouse!

Sun, 12 May 2002 00:00:00 GMT

I think someone's been running secret radioactive experiments in the back garden. The meece I caught today was a bit on the large size, I had a bit of a problem getting it through the cat flap. The idiots seemed to think it was a rat. A rat! I tell you, I'd run a mile if I thought there were rats around here. I've seen the Secret of Nimh!

Something Rotten

Fri, 03 May 2002 00:00:00 GMT

I think I've disgusted them into forgetting about feeding me normal cat food! The tuna had run out, so they put out a bowl of Whiskas pouches... so I ate the mouldy stuff they hadn't cleaned out instead. That'll teach them!

Nice Feather We're Having

Sun, 21 Apr 2002 00:00:00 GMT

Pickings are slim around here. Caught my first feather of the year... unfortunately there was no bird attached to it.

The Green Green Grass has Gone

Sun, 07 Apr 2002 00:00:00 GMT

Those vandals have only gone and destroyed the one last remaining unspoiled wilderness. No longer can I hide in the tall lush grasses of the savannah, waiting from my prey. Yep, they've cut the grass in the back garden. I'm going to give Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth a call.

Chartered Surveying

Fri, 22 Mar 2002 00:00:00 GMT

I've just finished my big project for 2002. I've mapped out all the hot water pipes running under the floorboards. Of course, those stupid owners of mine just think that I flop myself down anywhere. Ignorant savages!

Radio 5

Mon, 18 Mar 2002 00:00:00 GMT

I don't know why I bother. I spent all day composing an email to Radio 5 and they ignored the serious point I was making. Here's my original email: I listened with interest to your item about Frank the Cat and I wish him a speedy recovery. He's quite right, cars are for hiding under, not for driving around in like lunatics. Maybe if you humans did the same there would be less car accidents. Meow meow meow Matilda xxx And this is their reply: Thanks for your email, but we couldn't understand it. > dfd ddfs;ojkahjkl jk jk jkljkl;jkl jkl jkl jkl jkl jkljkl > jkjk jkljkjkl jkl jkl jkl jkjkjk jkjk jt7csdsd sdf af > gakl;asg,l/asdg/;gakopsdfnkl,dv;vdvdsvv Of course they couldn't understand it, I'm a cat... they should have got it translated at tunafish.altavista.com!!!

Hamsterdam

Thu, 07 Mar 2002 00:00:00 GMT

A historic day - the first mouse of the year! I'm just limbering up after the long winter layoff, so I didn't bother killing it this time and left it there on the stair, right there. A little mouse with clogs on... well apart from the clogs. I'll catch it again later.

Hand-fed by Robots

Thu, 28 Feb 2002 00:00:00 GMT

Those dirty stop outs have been of on holiday again. Left me with a huge pile of food and lots of time delayed cat feeders. Who are they trying to kid? I know, I'll not eat any of it. That'll make them feel dead guilty when they get back. Haven't they realised that all the meowing to be fed is just to show them who's boss around here. I'm off to get some fresh food!!!

I'm Fur-ever Coughing Furballs

Tue, 12 Feb 2002 00:00:00 GMT

I coughed up a big fur ball under the bed last night, but it still didn't wake them up. I guess my powers are beginning to slip. Still, trying to bury it under the carpet did the trick - another sleepless night for the evil-doers!

I Am a Leaf On The Wind

Sat, 02 Feb 2002 00:00:00 GMT

My owners now seem to be confused because I've been bringing in leaves over the last few days. Well, I found out one of them was a vegetarian (yeeuuchh!) so I thought I'd swap the dead mice for dead plants. And what thanks did I get? You try and do something useful and it gets thrown back in your face. Pass the catnip.

A Bird in the Bush

Mon, 28 Jan 2002 00:00:00 GMT

They've worked out how I always manage to be by the front door when they get back. The fools hadn't twigged that I sit on top of the gatepost keeping an eye out for their cars, then quick as a flash it's back through the cat flap and to the front door before they've spotted me. Only this time I was day dreaming of a Safeway tuna at 19p a tin and they caught me. Curses!

Have a Mice Day

Fri, 25 Jan 2002 00:00:00 GMT

Apologies to all my fans out there, I've been very busy recently... sleeping. Being a cat is really really tiring. It's been tipping down outside, so I've been annoying my owners by meowing by the front door, waiting for them to open it, then when they do, look disinterested and go back to my scratching post for a kip.

Mussel Power

Sun, 22 Jul 2001 00:00:00 GMT

The fools let me have some mussels the other day - my favourite! Now I'm not going to stop meowing until I get a regular supply. Oh, yeah, before I forget, I coughed up this enormous furball today... hee hee hee!

So Sad to Be All Alone in the World

Sat, 21 Jul 2001 00:00:00 GMT

My owners disappeared again. Brilliant... I spent the evening out the front of the house hiding under cars. What a naughty kitty I am!

A Mouse Lived in a Windmill

Thu, 19 Jul 2001 00:00:00 GMT

Where have all the meeces gone? Hamsterdam by the looks of it. At least the Tuna supply is holding up. They gave me some of that Whiskas pouch stuff. I hope they got the message when I licked all the gravy off and left the "meaty" chunks behind!

Early Morning Call

Sat, 07 Jul 2001 00:00:00 GMT

Quiet night on the wildlife front, but I did manage to wake them up at 2.30am with some of the most pathetic meowing you've ever heard. Hee hee hee!

Something Fishy

Fri, 06 Jul 2001 00:00:00 GMT

About time too - Tuna! I almost had to start eating the dry cat food. Sorted out the entertainment for tonight... the stupid idiots have been leaving the windows open because of the hot weather, which only means one thing: big fat juicy moths!

Hunger Strike

Thu, 05 Jul 2001 00:00:00 GMT

Meowed a bit and stared at the hedge for a few hours. It thundered, so I ran inside like a big wuss. Still no Tuna, how many times do I have to ask? It's almost as if they don't understand a word I'm saying. I know, I'll wake 'em up at 4 a.m. with another mouse for them to evict. Wonder when they'll rumble it's the same mouse?

Mouse In the House

Wed, 04 Jul 2001 00:00:00 GMT

My owners disappeared for the night, so I invited one of my little chums around to play. I thought I'd got away with it too until they saw its tail sticking out of my mouth. They haven't found my secret mouse stash yet, but they will when it start decomposing!